perfect UU minister

escher-moebius_womanThe perfect minister is a young energetic person with a maturity beyond his years.

Her sermons are thoroughly researched, intellectually satisfying, down to earth and touch her congregants’ feelings.

He condemns injustice but never hurts anyone’s feelings.

She writes sermons all day long and takes care of maintenance chores on her lunch break.

He is single—with a nice family.

She makes $400 a week, wears good clothes, maintains an extensive library, drives a decent car and pledges generously to the church. And to National Public Radio.

He is 26 years old and has 30 years of experience.

She is a humanistic theist, with Buddhist and pagan influences.

On his day off, he meets with every committee and publishes the newsletter.

Always taking a stand, but never confrontational, she has a burning desire to work with the teenagers and spends all her time with the older folks.

He smiles all the time with a straight face because his sense of humor keeps him seriously dedicated to church work.

She makes 15 pastoral calls a day, in hospitals and homes, takes leadership roles in the denomination, meets weekly with the local interfaith group and is always available in the church office.

–adapted from numerous online sources

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